…That their inability to differentiate between “your” and “you’re” makes them seem like idiots. If the person were stupid, I wouldn’t bother, but these are smart people. I’ve always thought (maybe because I’m a quasi-writer) that the quickest way to lose the respect of your audience (aside from the relative dumbness of your substantive views and opinions) was to demonstrate an incomplete knowledge of the language in which you are supposedly fluent. Isn’t good grammar semi-important? If not, what was the point of all that bullshit in high school with subject-verb agreement and dangling participles and other terms that sounded vaguely dirty?

I am aware that I sound like a complete grumpus right now, but here’s the thing:

I am not alone.

In the universe, maybe. But on Earth, no. There are people other than me who are bothered by poor, or at least “reckless” grammar. Unlike me, however, some of these people are in positions of power and influence.

It’s just not that hard, you know?

Your is possessive. It refers to something belonging to you (You have selected “you,” meaning “me.” That is incorrect). Your sofa. Your beehive. Your angry bees. Your welts.

You’re is short for “you are.” Now, “you are” is really a complete sentence, albeit a crappy one. “You are.” “You,” of course, is a noun, the subject. Who is? You are. “Are” is actually a verb, a modification of the verb ‘to be.” Most often, this sentence is paired with another, more action-y verb. For example:

Actually, hold on a minute. I am not going to bother reading this again, so if I made any typos (which are different than grammatical mistakes), please disregard the obvious irony.

You are smoking.

You are drinking.

You are watching your ex-wife remarry because you pissed yourself at a board meeting.

Therefore, “Your” is just a noun. “You are” is the beginnings of a pretty rad sentence.

She wants you’re phone number

WRONG!

She wants your phone number.

RIGHT!

Your an idiot.

NON!

You’re an idiot.

DA!

Goodnight, America.